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ATOM DEATH

by Push to Shove

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1.
Novacaine 03:55
_____Novacaine_____ I turn out the lights and lay down not knowing I died And when the sun gave out, it burned up the ground where we once strived If there was something to notice, we noticed it too late Blame the constant alarm, that gave appeal to all the novacaines I scream out my lungs and inhale radioactive fallout I did every step right, but it didn’t disarm the bomb And if there was something to say, gosh I said it a beat too late Goodbye novacaines, goodbye constant alarm If they sell us another half-truth somebody should die We’ve been short-changed but they think we’ll take it in stride There’s no avoiding the risk Them novacaines, they kill Wouldn’t it be nice if it was nice for a change And wouldn’t it be sweet to be peaceful To hold your love, hang your head, and breath Just breath
2.
Shoes 04:31
_____Shoes_____ I got these new shoes on I’m gonna work em til the soles are worn I’m gonna work and work until I’m dead When the job is over, start again I got these worn shoes on I’m gonna walk em til the soles fall off somehow I’m gonna walk and walk until I forget If I forget maybe I could rest Somehow I got these old shoes on They’re gonna give out but I’ll go on I’ll light em a candle and leave them to rest In a garden set to ash How many more miles to go? The road gets shorter with each sole Worn down, into the ground, into the Earth, into the dirt Beneath your feet There is a hand to pull you out Push to your lips to cure your draught Keeping your head above the dark You must try What did you mean when you said goodbye How many lifetimes must go by Until you let go of the hurt I’ve done Can’t you see that I’ve made up my mind? Fix what’s broken, leave nothing behind Can’t you see that I’ve made up my mind? To treat each other in kind? It’s not about walking, not about toil And certainly not about my shoes… It’s about where I’ll go, who I’ll love And the fight behind the good I could do How many more miles to go? Seemingly, The road gets shorter with each soul How many more miles to go? Does the road get shorter? I don’t know
3.
Grand Well 05:01
_____Grand Well_____ Time gives us everything, Including the space to be. Gravity, all around you and me Holding each moment in place As the sun shines into the void Like a jewel at the bottom of a grand well An eternity is so much time … time, time, time I don’t know what it was I was dreaming of being a person In a time, in a place In that thing that happened I don’t know what it was Though it seemed so important But that time and that place are so long ago … time, time, time You may feel great pain It’s insignificant Deep in space, there’s an Earth ray A silent movie, a reflection projecting our perfect day Our friends in a line, we had tears in our eyes Holding both hands, we meant every vow that we made that day Back again Haven’t we been here before I coulda sworn this story’s recurring Haven’t we said this before I coulda sworn, coulda sworn Haven’t we done this before I coulda sworn this moment’s repeating Trapped in time (running out of time) I was dreaming of being a person You may feel great pain It’s insignificant Did all of your dream come true? Did it feel like there was someone for you? Did all of your plans come through? Did it seem like there was a purpose to you?
4.
Squares 03:00
_____Squares_____ You have me trapped, You made me a slave to your will, You've become an enormous cost but yet, I'm still here still Foolish me to think That I would some how be able, Be able to not fall in love, Fall in love with the feeling of You From the start you knew That you would have me like this, Impatiently waiting for you to have My next fix My lovely poison Beautiful mercury or lead The skin constricts, Goosebumps, Just like they said Oh lovely, Just like the poison of your lips and your tongue Oh heaven, Just like the black from the smoke in lungs Échale Oh sweet nicotine, Oh my nicotine, Leaving you has left me with anxiety, You have no idea how hard it was to put you out, I gave up my relief It isn't easy, You are my favorite worst habit, You are as dangerous to me as Matches and kerosene Oh lovely, Just like the poison of your lips and your tongue Oh heaven, Just like the black, from the smoke, in my lungs
5.
Mask 04:16
_____Mask_____ Leading where I point my arrow A restless mind interred Waiting for the word March in time to my bolero Follow for the cause For the cheers and the applause They will brand us as an evil Yet they call on us to fix What they have wrought And so I cannot To seek protection brings upheaval The feelings are misplaced It will not be erased I wear this mark upon my face As the one who’s trapped inside This is no ordinary space Where I’ve come to hide To the world I have outpaced Will you take my hand? For that high I’ve gone to chase For that one I’ve gone to chase Won’t you come to see what I’ve done? It’s worth it to us all The ones who have to fall To all those who said I had none My brilliance resounds Breaking all those bounds Looking for the perfect outcome To those caught in the crossfire Won’t you see What this has done to Nothing gained is lost in my sum We’re standing at the gates An endless precipice Noticing you standing silent I am loathe to say You must set aside This is the only way Stand apart or lose your heart I wear this sign of my disgrace Forged in a blaze of fire Cannot hope to please the base Drawing endless ire Let us hope to leave this space Will you take my hand? Go beyond where they can trace Lead you where they cannot chase You’ll come to my side Find strength within me You’ll slip and I’ll fall Into what we can’t see Peace was never an option
6.
Promptly 03:54
_____Promptly_____ Searching my mind Came across my feelings for you Treat it all in kind What is it that you want to do? Am I meant to opine On the reason you’re standing here? Would you state it clearly if I looked without fear? You come to me Searching for an answer Want it promptly Never took you for a chancer Would I be remiss If I gave you the chance to say How, “My heart’s for you, my baby” As you cast me away? You come to me Searching for an answer Want it promptly Am I meant to oblige? Feel pushed aside No, don’t throw me away I still need you Been left to rot Down in this hole Don’t you dare say I did this to myself As you stand at your cross of judgment Oh, when you die Will you come home? We come to believe The other’s naive And I won’t let you through I’ll take the lead That you won’t concede What else can I do? There is no reprieve Though you feel aggrieved There is no reprieve from this God of the Storm Though you may leave I won’t be deceived We will carry on Now you are gone And there’s nothing left here to say I am not your pawn You’ll be safe from the world, I pray You held my heart Tightly bound within a tether Though you’ve torn us apart We will always be together! You come to me Searching for an answer Want it promptly Am I meant to oblige?
7.
_____Collective Frustration_____ He was preoccupied late again last night Your schedules didn’t line up, you lost touch, lost sight He was working on solving a puzzle That could do a terrible good in the world… and open doors He could offer you a bright future, if you’d hold on Provide us a safe world if you’d only hold on Uncuttable Somehow you are fundamental to him An irreducible bond he never thought could break But ambition took it for granted and forced a coupling apart When you split it brought an atom death Vaporized a world The shocking blast from your last glance Annihilated a future On such an absurd line to have stumbled Between happiness and the fate of existence Blinding blooms Tore A World

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released August 11, 2023

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Push to Shove Chicago, Illinois

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